Notes on My Life

excerpts from notes on my life

  • The Purge

    Last night I dreamt that you were still here. You were very unwell again, something had gone wrong, mismanaged, and I had to leave to get to you immediately. This time it took chartering a plane to reach the wilderness North of San Francisco where you live.It was cold, snowy, a storm coming. The terrain… Read more

  • Travelling Again

    These dreams always seem to have something to do with San Francisco. Not surprisingly, as this is where I travelled to and from for the last almost two years since mom got sick. This was, except for my first flight, where I foolishly transferred at LAX, was my port of entry and departure for all… Read more

  • Sour Times

    Grief is hard. It is a thing, a noun, an entity, at once fluid and smoky, heavy as stone and light as a breeze. I have to write now to move on from this morning, when I took a deep dive into it, into the losses of both lives and of what could have been.… Read more

  • College Admissions

    Sleeping in the night is difficult these days. I am tired, and love to nap, but at night come the dreams. It is hard to dream, to go there, as I never know what awaits me or what I will uncover. The stress of the packing and travelling dreams is so real, I feel so… Read more

  • Travelling Dreams

    I hope that writing will help me to remember more. I am sitting in a coffee shop in Reims, next to where the kids go to school. I thought I forgot my wallet again, but I didn’t, so I was able to buy the small but good, overpriced coffee to sit and write. I keep… Read more

  • Coffee and Cigarettes

    I have found it difficult to write lately. It seems that I have lost the habit. I feel like I have nothing to say, nothing that I want to say. I have been trying to face everything sober, and am having to learn that that is not easy. Alcohol for me is not the problem… Read more