Notes on My Life

excerpts from notes on my life

  • The Killing Time

    Now that it’s happened, it seems like it was inevitable. Last night I drank. Today I am hazy and dull, with a hangover not only from the alcohol but also from the emotions and the desperate need that I felt – to either stop and process them or escape them – for the last two… Read more

  • Will and Inertia

    Today has been hard, a hard day on top of many, each pushing me further past what I thought was my limit. I need deep, healing, uninterrupted sleep, perhaps for days. I need to stop, be still, and process. I feel like the last of my energy had been sucked from me and yet I… Read more

  • Letters of Remebrence

    Tomorrow is the Monday, the 8th of May; it is VE Day. I am home alone with the boys this long holiday weekend. Yesterday I realised that the service for my mother in Georgia is this upcoming Friday. My aunt, her sister, sent me a reminder via a message on Facebook. How painfully modern, in… Read more

  • Snow Day

    It’s April 20, and it’s snowing in Champagne. Big fat juicy snowflakes, and they have even started to stick. Over the hedge, I can see it falling against the backdrop of the distant forest, and the trees are just a grey shadow, and above them the white sky. It reminds me of home, of growing… Read more

  • Express Elevator

    My dreams keep getting stranger and scarier, but at least I get to see my mom. She seems happy, too. Last night I dreamt again of San Francisco, of this strange apartment building that feels somewhat like a transient hotel. What is this coming from? Perhaps it’s a mix. On my first visit to SF,… Read more

  • Anti-Hero

    Last night, my husband and I were having one of our typical exchanges. I get mad at him so easily, and this time is was because he had asked to do a ‘diary check’ as he calls it, which is usually just a data dump of what work and personal plans he has scheduled for… Read more