Notes on My Life

excerpts from notes on my life

  • A Day Like This

    Yesterday my daughter had her first communion. It was a lovely occasion and a new tradition to me. As I was raised Protestant, I was confirmed at 14. I was baptised during the same period, as I hadn’t been baptised as a baby or small child. This fact alone gave me suspicion about the entire Read more

  • Memories, Real and Imagined

    This morning I woke up in a fog to the sound of the children creeping down the stairs to watch TV. I got up, feeling somewhat rested as I slept early the night before. As I was making coffee I realised I had been dreaming, back in the familiar architecture of my dreams. I was Read more

  • A Year in Vulnerability

    I had this idea a while ago: what if I committed to a year of living in vulnerability? This is inspired by the work of Brene Brown, a brilliant mind in a field that she has come to define by scientifically examining how people process trauma and life experience, and how it defines their personality, Read more

  • Nothing Left to Prove

    What do I feel like I am trying to prove? This is the question of the day in the course I am doing so I thought I’d address it here, where the space is unlimited. I want to prove to my self that I can change, that I can do this, that I can live Read more

  • The Killing Time

    Now that it’s happened, it seems like it was inevitable. Last night I drank. Today I am hazy and dull, with a hangover not only from the alcohol but also from the emotions and the desperate need that I felt – to either stop and process them or escape them – for the last two Read more

  • Will and Inertia

    Today has been hard, a hard day on top of many, each pushing me further past what I thought was my limit. I need deep, healing, uninterrupted sleep, perhaps for days. I need to stop, be still, and process. I feel like the last of my energy had been sucked from me and yet I Read more