Notes on My Life

excerpts from notes on my life

  • Boxing Day

    It’s December 26th, the day after Christmas. I made it through The Day. I made it through the first one without my mother here on earth. Not my mother, my father, or my grandmothers are still here, a fact that I only realised the other day. Christmas felt like my first one really alone as… Read more

  • At Last

    Somehow I’ve broken my habit of writing. There were times this past year when I wrote every day, not wanting to go through what I was going through on my own, it seemed the only way to stay present, to process, to understand the complex feelings I was experiencing. The day my mother died, the… Read more

  • The Process

    Here I am, again, Sunday morning in a coffee shop. Same coffee shop, different city, but they are basically the same. No alarms and no surprises, please. I will take the predictability at this point, the comfort of consistent banality over anything else. For I am drowning and at least this gives me a life… Read more

  • Detour

    Last night about 9pm I realised that I was, in fact, on the wrong train. I’d done just what I thought I was supposed to do, went to the right track, the right car, even stopped to ask directions to my car of a man in a train workers costume. Right car, wrong train, apparently.… Read more

  • Delayed Depart

    Heading home now, finally. Been sitting, waiting on a train I hustled to catch, walked 30 minutes at a quick pace to get here – to hurry up and wait. I love this saying. Saw Sophie Calle at the Picasso Musée today. What a surprise and delight, and thanks to my friend for making that… Read more

  • On Time

    Today I am in Paris, by myself. Sitting in the coffee shop at the Gare de l’Est, happy to be out of the train and not quite ready to go to the next place, yet. I am fine here. It takes me time to acclimate, always has, but now I am not rushed to be… Read more