Notes on My Life

excerpts from notes on my life

  • Fed Up

    I remember my high school history teacher, I hated him, he was such an obnoxious pig, a total misogynist. I feel bad even saying that now, as I don’t have it in me anymore to hate anyone. I know it hurts me more than it hurts them, and hate is a cancer. It was 1991, Read more

  • The Unfinished House

    One of the main reasons I decided to get sober was to figure out the real source of my difficulties. What a funny thing to say, really. As I write it, I realise that how I’ve expressed how I feel is by translating a common French casual way to express, vaguely, that something is wrong Read more

  • Doing Nothing

    Oh, what a luxury it seems, to do nothing all day. The flip side of this though, is feeling like there is everything to be done and doing nothing about any of it. Lately I’ve had a throbbing head that is most noticeable when it’s silent, which is only when I lie down to sleep Read more

  • Dry Drunk

    I’m fairly new to the concepts of AA, but not to alcoholism and its dynamics. My grandfathers were both alcoholics, each of their own kind. One at least, as I know, died from the disease. My parents grew up in alcoholic households and never took the steps to recover themselves, therefore I also grew up Read more

  • Incredible Dreams

    Two months sober today, and I’ve woken up at 1:35 in the afternoon. Well, woke up the 2nd or 3rd time. First was to get the kids up for school, second was at 11:30. This time though, I woke myself with the decisive, concerted effort of all of the strength that you can summon after Read more

  • Motherhood is Hard

    It’s much talked about these days, but I still wonder if anyone outside the motherhood really understands. My cousin, Sonya, is at least 10 years older than me. I don’t remember the difference exactly, as I established her as ‘much older’ when I was a child, when even months felt like a huge difference in Read more