As simple as that, she felt us, she left us. How strange it is to write these words, what a strange relief. Now I feel terrible guilt. But to recognise them is to help the feelings to be seen and heard and then go away. They are not destined to become part of our hardwiring,… Read more

We are now all in the hospital, Mom, Me, Camille, two cots next to Mom’s hospital bed, and a lot of bags surround us. I have such absolute deep sorrow in me. At the same time, I am thankful that she is still with us. I wonder if her laboured but relaxed breathing will just… Read more

It is not lost on me, as I come to the crossroads in the corridor, that on the left is the NICU and to the right is the ward which contains my mother’s room. This floor of the hospital is a special place, maybe even a portal for souls, on the verge of life, and… Read more

Listening to Handel’s Messiah in mom’s room, at her bedside, in the hospital. What a moment to be alive. Here we are now, nothing else matters except this moment, and the hope of another moment with her, here, on this earth. Hoping that she hears these ancient notes and song and feels the spirit in… Read more